In early 2020 just before the pandemic hit, I was unemployed and newly separated from my ex-husband. It was an especially dark period in my life, so when I encountered the suggestion to make a gratitude list every day, I wasn’t sure it would be possible to come up with much each day. But I liked the idea of remembering there are always things to be grateful for and I’m an avid list-maker. I’d also lapsed on journaling for quite some time, so this seemed a good chance to dip my toes back into daily reflections.
It turned out that even on the worst of days, there was no shortage of things to write down. Some days the appreciation would be for the beauty of our planet after having seen a beautiful sunset or a gorgeous flower in bloom or encountering wildlife out on a hike. Often it included people in my life who helped lift me up during those difficult times by checking on me, sending funny memes or song recommendations, or meeting up for hikes. When COVID arrived, the list began to frequently include my relief that neither myself nor anyone I cared about had wound up in the hospital or dead. On days when I struggled to get out of bed or take care of basic life tasks like eating or showering, I made sure to express appreciation to myself for meeting my various needs.
The more I performed the activity, the longer the lists grew and the more keenly aware I became that life was really not so bad.
Benefits of Gratitude
As I experienced firsthand, there are numerous positive outcomes for individuals experiencing and expressing gratitude. The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkley even wrote a white paper about it in 2018, which draws on many bodies of research and identifies the following benefits:
- Increased likelihood to adopt healthier habits
- Improved psychological health via increased positive mood, reduced materialism, and experiencing greater satisfaction with life
- Improved physical health, including better sleep, less fatigue, and lower levels of inflammation
- Less depression and greater resilience
- Encouraged the development of other positive traits, such as patience, humility, and wisdom
The white paper went on to note there are also social benefits, such as:
- Being inspired to be more generous, kind, and helpful
- Strengthened relationships
- Improved workplace environments
“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”
Eckhart Tolle
Ideas for Introducing Gratitude
At the end I’ll include a list of resources you can check out for more ideas to incorporate gratitude practices into your life, but first, here’s what has been working for me:
Daily Gratitude List
Each day, I fill out a paper broken into three sections: intentions, goals/to-do’s, and gratitude. Since I refer to the page throughout the day, I often fill it out intermittently. But I also make sure to do a final close-out just before bed so I can pleasantly end the day.
I keep this list fairly simple, so it’s not a lengthy description of the thing I’m expressing gratitude for. Typically, it’s a sentence, though sometimes it’s only a word or phrase (e.g., flowers, rivers, my family). I have a minimum of five bullets each day, but it’s usually easy to fill the entire blank space with upwards of ten or more.
Notes to Others
Research published in 2018 found that folks underestimate what the positive impact of a thank you note will be. In addition to offering good feelings to the recipient, the experiment also demonstrated the boost in mood that it offered to the sender. While it’s easy to be inclined to shy away from this activity, which can feel awkward, I highly recommend getting into the habit of sharing your appreciation directly with others. I try to send at least one per month, though sometimes I fall behind as has been the case in the last few months while roadtripping and sending more postcards instead.
While a text, Facebook message, or email can certainly express gratitude and are never a bad idea, there’s still something to be said for notes and cards in this digital age. As of yet, there’s no science to back it up, but plenty of speculation that a handwritten message sent by mail results in a deeper experience. Plus, it gives you an excuse to buy cute stationery and stamps!
In-the-Moment Appreciation
Once I got going on the daily list, it struck me that if it makes me feel good to make a note of nice things periodically throughout the day, why wait? Now I’m often taking a moment in the midst of good experiences to observe positive sensations and give a shout-out to the universe for whatever is causing them. I also often thank the thing/person directly at that moment. You may encounter me on a hike complimenting a flower, thanking a creek for flowing, or telling a fern to keep up the great work. I’m still a bit reserved within human interactions, but I’m working on it.
Monthly Letter to Myself
I recently read Dr. Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, in which she establishes self-compassion as even more important to our lives than self-esteem. There are fabulous exercises throughout it to help readers apply the concepts and in one she recommends writing yourself a letter of appreciation. Because I am often quite hard on myself, this seemed worth trying, but I didn’t expect anything too profound from my first go at it in May because I am finally back to regular journaling and frequently converse with myself in writing. But from the get-go of addressing “Dear Me,” I realized this felt quite different.
As I began to write, the words spilled out of me almost faster than my fingers could keep up with – and the tears were falling just as enthusiastically. I wasn’t just writing my thoughts and feelings out; I was addressing myself directly in a focused fashion and casting a light specifically on my progress, good acts, positive traits, and so on. Things that so often are overlooked or brushed by as I move on to the next thing I want to improve upon or achieve. I now have this activity scheduled for the last day of each month to acknowledge my efforts – even those that ended in defeat – and celebrate my wins. It’s a wonderful ritual to segue into each new month.
Additional Resources
As promised, here are some more articles that might inspire your own gratitude practice. Different things work for different folks, so experimentation is encouraged!
- Positive Psychology: 13 Most Popular Gratitude Exercises and Activities
- Tiny Buddha: How to Start a Gratitude Practice and Change Your Life
- Forbes: 14 Simple Ways to Practice Gratitude in Your Everyday Professional Life
- LifeHack: 40 Simple Ways to Practice Gratitude
- Develop Good Habits: 50 Ways to Practice Gratitude Every Day
“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.”
Willie Nelson
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