I was always a self-reliant and resourceful person, but after overcoming the many calamities that befell me as a result of the bus accident, I became much more confident in my abilities to overcome any damn thing life throws at me. I mean, if a BUS can’t take me out, what can?
I didn’t navigate my recovery perfectly by any means, but no matter how tough things got, I never gave up or let setbacks convince me that things could not improve. Eventually, my healing journey went further than I ever could have expected, which today helps me maintain my resolve in situations where the outlook appears dire or things seem to be continually sliding into disarray.
My rationale is along these lines: If I could find ways to turn something as catastrophic as being hit by a bus into a blessing by using it to improve my overall health and become stronger than ever before, imagine what else is possible!
This shift in my perspective allowed me to see problems and challenges as opportunities for growth. Not that I feel happy-go-lucky when the shit is hitting the fan. Nor do I look for the silver linings immediately or expect some magical metamorphosis to occur in the wake of every difficulty. I’d actually hazard to guess that approaching life’s hardships that way would only bring more misery and suffering in the thick of any storm I find myself in.
But what I’m at least open to after becoming the “Local Woman Hit By Bus” is the possibility of “post-traumatic growth.” This term was coined by Richard Tedeschi, PhD, and Lawrence Calhoun, PhD, whose theory states that people often see positive growth in their relationships, worldview, or other personal areas following a crisis or period of adversity.
“[Post-traumatic growth] results from a ‘psychological earthquake’ where your world is now divided between before it happened, and after it happened. It’s a defining moment that changes life as you’ve known it.”
Dr. Debi Silber
Finding the Seeds of Goodness
I forget when this occurred or who I was talking to, but I remember hearing myself explaining to someone that it was only thanks to the bus accident that I became such a physically active person. In “Silver Linings of Being Hit by a Bus (Part 2),” I touched on the fact that I wasn’t taking care of my health or body much at all before the accident. I’d had back pain and issues with my feet since high school, but accepted that was just life. I wasn’t doing anything about it, not even stretching. Walking and working in the service industry were about it for physical activity.
The years after the accident brought about a transformation. First, with the realization that I had to keep moving if I wanted to keep moving. Then, I explored what kinds of physical activities worked for me and figured out how to incorporate them into my life and schedule. This was followed by discovering the experience of enjoyment from moving my body. Eventually, I was amazed that I was not only able to heal from such a serious accident but actually to reach a better physical state than I’d been in prior to it. But it wasn’t easy, it took a long time, and there were frequent backslides. At many points, I temporarily felt hopeless and defeated.
Hearing myself explain the silver lining of this accident that day caused me to begin looking for seeds planted in every mishap, misfortune, calamity, injustice, etc. I’d always hated the phrase “everything happens for a reason” – likely as a result of many people close to me dying under tragic circumstances when I was a kiddo – but after having this epiphany about the bus accident, I was more open to seeing ways that difficulty in my life so often brought me to goodness.
Sometimes, I get impatient waiting for the goodness. But it typically seems to come in some form or other, often when I least expect it.
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