Welcome to Flailing Into My Forties, a blog that I’m kicking off on my fortieth birthday. I will use this space to document my many adventures – and misadventures – on the road as a nomad. I’ll also share stories, observations, and reflections as I settle into this new decade of life with a goal to find more ease and comfort, even within periods of great discomfort and uncertainty.
I recently told a new friend that I was trying to be kinder and gentler to myself, but my patience was being tested because it felt like I’d squandered a lot of time and opportunities over the past year of flailing around as a nomad only working part-time. No books written, songs recorded, photographs sold, or businesses launched – just a distraught and anxious middle-aged woman with big dreams and no steady income or solid plans.
From how I talked about the journey I’d been on since deciding to leave my job, work on my mental health, and pursue my dreams, this person thought that I’d been flailing for years upon years. Upon hearing that it had only been only a single year at that point, she laughed at me voraciously and then advised:
IF YOU’RE GOING TO BOTHER FLAILING AT ALL, YOU HAVE TO DO IT FOR AT LEAST TWO YEARS.
So, with her advice in mind, I decided to stop piling expectations on myself and flail on.
If you’re interested in traveling, mental health, writing, books, music, nature, biking, hiking, cats, dogs, and miscellaneous ramblings about life, then chances are you may find something here that interests you.
Thanks for reading!
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Autism Self-determination (Part 1)
Find out how Hez explored the possibility that she might be autistic in the 10 months since her neuropsychological evaluation. Read more
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National Volunteer Week
Hez discusses the joys of volunteering and ways to get involved in giving back. Read more
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Time Flies! National Poetry Month is Halfway Over
Hez shares updates about how she’s been celebrating the past couple of weeks. Read more
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The Relief of a Diagnosis (Part 5)
Hez shares what comforted her after receiving her confirmed and potential diagnoses. Read more
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Happy National Poetry Month!
Hez kicks off the celebration by sharing how she accidentally became a poet. Read more
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The Relief of a Diagnosis (Part 4)
Hez unpacks some of her initial processing and feelings from receiving her confirmed and potential diagnoses. Read more
If you would like to support Hez’s flailing with a monetary gift, contributions are welcome via Cash App, Venmo, and PayPal.



